Warren Lane Page 20

  “I knew you would say that,” she said, her smile broadening. “I can’t tell you how much I missed you. I can’t even begin to tell you.”

  “You don’t have to,” Ready said. “I felt the same way. Will you take me back?”

  “Take you back?”

  “I’m sorry I kissed that other woman in the hotel,” Ready said. “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t bring himself to say what he thought she wanted to hear: that Susan didn’t matter. Instead, he said, “I know it’s hard to understand, but I couldn’t have done anything differently.”

  Understanding that this was a part of his experience that didn’t belong to her, Ella said in her simple, straightforward way, “It’s OK, Warren. I’m sorry I got you shot to death.”

  “Oh,” Ready shrugged. “That’s all right. I needed it. The old me did. Did you know I quit drinking?”

  “Really? You look healthier. How long has it been?”

  “About seven weeks.”

  “That’s not long.”

  “No,” Ready said. “Remember that day you got mad about the cocaine? You stood outside the window of my car?”

  “I’ve remembered it a thousand times,” Ella said.

  “I wasn’t ready for you then. I still had a way to go before I hit bottom.”

  “I know.”

  “But when you disappeared, I worked really hard and I got there as fast as I could.”

  “Was it bad?” Ella asked.

  “The bits I can remember,” he said, thinking back on the little blue car smashed against the tree in Gary’s driveway. “I think I did a year’s worth of drinking in six weeks. Remember what you said that day? That you would give me everything?”

  Ella nodded.

  “Well, I’ll give you everything, if you’ll help me get my legs back under me. I still have a long way to go. Will you stand by me?”

  “Of course. Yes.” She paused, and for a moment the preceding months ran through her mind: her recklessness with Will, meeting Ready, losing him, her sister’s hostility and judgment, her own regrets.

  As Ready watched the memories play out across her face, he was struck again by how much she resembled Susan now—how those bright blue eyes now revealed a deeper inner life.

  “I have a long way to go, too,” she said. “I’ve done a lot of thinking in the past few months. Not all of it was healthy. I wish... I wish I could tell you everything I’ve gone through.”

  “Take your time,” Ready said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Omar smiled as he watched them kiss.

  “Have you been to the beach?” Ella asked.

  “No,” said Ready.

  “It’s beautiful. Come on,” she said. “Let’s walk.”

  Ready smiled and took her hand, and they walked onto the beach.

  Omar made his way to the bar and ordered a beer. He called Susan and said, “We found her.”

  “How did it go?”

  “About as well as it could go. Almost got me a little teary-eyed,” Omar said.

  “Oh, I’m so relieved. Thank you, Omar. Thank you so much.”

  Omar looked around again and said, “This is a hell of a place.”

  “You think your girlfriend would like it?”

  “She’d never want to leave.”

  “I’ll buy her a ticket.”

  “For real?”

  “For real,” Susan said.

  * * *

  Out on the beach, Ready said, “I have a confession to make.”

  “Yeah?”

  “My name isn’t really Warren.”

  “I know. What is your real name?”

  “Mark,” he said. “Mark Ready.”

  “Oh, that name doesn’t suit you at all,” Ella said. “You can only ever be Warren to me, and that’s what I’m going to call you.” She paused for a moment then said, “Now I have a confession to make.”

  “What?”

  “My name isn’t really Ella.”

  “It’s not?” Ready asked with some surprise.

  Ella shook her head. “Nope. It’s Eleanor.”

  “Wow, I never would have guessed you were an Eleanor. That’s a librarian’s name. Can I still call you Ella?”

  “Oh, yeah,” she said with a smile. “That’s what everybody calls me.”

  “What are you doing in Hawaii?” Ready asked.

  “I was doing a shoot for a clothing catalog. We finished this morning. Now I’m just hanging out. What are you doing here?”

  Ready thought for a moment. “I really don’t know.”

  “How did you get here?” Ella asked with her teasing smile. “Do you know that?”

  “This guy told me to get on a plane,” Ready said. “I didn’t want to. I was in the bathroom. But then he read me the note.”

  Ella watched him with a baffled expression before accepting that his answer couldn’t make sense to anyone but himself. She thought for a moment, and then said, “Warren, I really think you should consider modeling. It’s not like a normal job, where you have to sit at a computer all day or fix greasy machines. You just show up, they put a costume on you, and you try to look happy.”

  “I don’t know,” Ready said with a tone of doubt. “I’m not sure I have the brain power for that kind of work.”

  Ella laughed. “OK, just the fact that you said that—and meant it—tells me you’ll do fine. I’ll introduce you to my agent.”

  Chapter 59

  Will took his lawyer’s advice and pleaded guilty to all charges to avoid leaving Susan with nothing. Susan visited him only once in prison, where she spoke to him through a glass partition. His cheeks sagged beneath the dark circles that ringed his eyes. His skin was dry and pale, and his greying hair had grown brittle and thin. But his spirit was lighter than his grave appearance.

  “The government isn’t going to get any more out of me,” he said. “The taxes are paid, the penalties are paid, the interest is paid. I even paid for part of their investigation. You know, it’s not enough that they catch you. They have to insult you, too. But you have the house and the trust, and you should still get something from the account in New York.”

  “Martin says they can take some of that,” Susan said.

  “Some of the New York money,” Will agreed. “But the money in the trust, that’s all legit. Arnie and I were scrupulous about that. And that trust is as close to impregnable as the law will allow. They can’t take anything from there. If Martin works with my lawyers, they should be able to set you up with enough to live on.”

  Will’s smile was bittersweet. “It’s funny, you know. I still get off on outsmarting those bastards, even though I’ll never live to enjoy the money.”

  “You don’t look well, Will. You look terrible.”

  “The doctor says my heart is failing.” He shook his head. “And I’m not taking my medicine. I told the prosecutors I’d be out of here in six months, even if I have to leave in a casket.”

  He reflected for a moment. “I had my time,” he said. “I had the money and the girls, the good food and wine. I travelled everywhere. That’s more than most people ever get. I’m not going to rot away in this place for twenty years. Hey, uh…” Looking at her face, he patted his cheeks and smiled. “You put on a little weight.”

  Susan shrugged.

  “It looks good. I always like to see you healthy.” He smiled briefly, but the smile faded and two were quiet for a minute before Will resumed.

  “I did my best to look out for you,” he said. “Financially, anyway. I really did. Maybe you can’t understand this after all the horrible things I’ve done, but I always did love you the best. You always were the most beautiful one to me. I’m sorry I couldn’t be faithful. That’s just not who I was. Sometimes I wish I’d never married you. That was the most selfish thing I ever did. I can�
��t forgive myself for all the grief I caused you.”

  “Well, maybe it’s like you said, Will. You couldn’t be the faithful husband. That’s not who you were. But something brought you to me. Something brought me to you. We had our life together.”

  “And this is where it ended,” Will said sadly.

  “This is where it ended,” Susan said.

  Chapter 60

  True to his word, Will left prison in a casket within six months. Susan collected the insurance from the burned-out house and sold the lot where the house had stood. She sold the Santa Barbara house and bought a small cottage in Marin County. She gave up the proud façade that had inspired the admiration of her friends, and her new neighbors embraced her, as people are wont to do with those who wear their hearts open to the world.

  On a warm October evening, a year after she’d sent Ready off to Hawaii, as the moon followed the evening star across the western sky, Susan sat on her patio talking and laughing with a neighbor over a glass of wine.

  “So, is he really going to call?” her neighbor asked. She was tipsy and a little giddy.

  “In just a minute, Jennifer,” Susan said. “Or maybe a few. He’s never on time.”

  “When’s the last time you talked to him?”

  “It’s been a few months,” Susan said. “And never on Skype. I haven’t seen his face in a year. I mean, outside of a magazine.”

  “You seem nervous,” said Jennifer.

  “I am,” Susan said. “I know why he’s calling. I’ve been avoiding this.”

  “Does he really look like that?” Jennifer asked, holding up a magazine photo of Ready in a suit.

  Susan laughed and said, “No. That’s not him at all. I mean, the face, yes. But he would never wear a suit. I don’t think he even knows how to put one on.”

  Susan stood up and said, “I have to go to the bathroom. If the call comes in, will you answer it?”

  “Sure.”

  A minute later, Skype chimed on the iPad that Susan had propped on the patio table. Jennifer knelt by the table and answered the call.

  “Hello?” she said. “Are you Warren?”

  Ready looked confused. “Yeah, um, wait. Is Susan there?”

  “She’s here. She’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Who are you?” Ready asked.

  “Jennifer. A neighbor. I just dropped by for a glass of wine. Or three.”

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jennifer. I’m Warren.”

  “I know,” she said, holding up the magazine ad for him to see. “I didn’t believe Susan when she said she knew you. I thought she was just collecting pictures of her crush.”

  Ready laughed. “Is Susan making friends up there?”

  “Oh my God, she’s like, the confidant of the entire neighborhood. Everyone talks to her.”

  “She’s a good person to talk to,” Ready said. “She’s very wise.”

  “Wise indeed,” said Jennifer, her words a little slurred from the wine. “Here she is.” Jennifer took a seat to the right of the iPad, just out of Ready’s view, and poured herself another glass of wine.

  “Hi, Susan,” said Ready.

  Susan sat and studied him for a moment before responding. “Hi, Warren. It’s nice to see your face after all this time. You look good. You look really good.”

  “Thanks. You look... you look a little tired.”

  Susan laughed. “You know how to flatter a woman, don’t you?”

  “Sorry, I just...”

  “No need to be sorry,” Susan said. “I am a little tired. I don’t sleep enough. How’s Miami?”

  “Good,” said Ready. “I think we found our place. I like the sea. Ella likes the sun.”

  “I’m happy for you both,” Susan said.

  For a long moment, neither one spoke. Then Ready said, “I sent you an invitation to our wedding.”

  “I know,” Susan said. “It’s been sitting on the kitchen table for weeks.”

  “Well?” he asked. “Are you coming?”

  Susan looked down at her lap and was quiet for a moment. Then she looked at him and said, “Warren, the return address on the back of the envelope is in Ella’s handwriting. My address on the front is in your handwriting. Does she know you sent that invitation?”

  “Well, yeah,” Ready said with some hesitation. “I told her.”

  “Before you sent it, or after?”

  Ready paused for a second. “After.”

  Susan thought for a moment about the envelope. She recognized the broad, looping script on the back from the note Ready had given her in the hotel room all those months ago, when he had said with such pride, “My assistant wrote that.”

  “I didn’t want her to find my response in the mail if she didn’t know you invited me,” Susan said. “That would be a rude surprise. If you’re going to be married, Warren, you need to start thinking about things like that.”

  “I know,” said Ready, looking like a sheepish schoolboy. “Ella reminds me about stuff like that all the time.”

  “She’s training you,” Susan said, then added with a laugh, “and you need it.”

  “I’m making progress,” Ready said.

  “Did you tell her we were lovers?” Susan asked.

  “What?” exclaimed Jennifer from her chair next to Susan. Susan ignored her.

  “Yeah, I told her,” Ready said.

  “How’d she take it?”

  Ready shrugged. “Um... it took her a little while, but I think she accepted it with a lot of grace. She’s tough. She really is. And she’s an accepting person. And that was a weird, crazy time for all of us. It’s all in the past now anyway.”

  “And we should leave it there,” Susan said. “I really don’t think I should come. It would just be awkward.”

  “But I want everyone to get past that,” Ready said. “There are only a few people in the world who really matter to me. You’re one. She’s one. And this is our wedding. I want you there.” He paused for a moment. “Are you still mad at her? Do you hate her?”

  “I don’t hate her, Warren. I’m not even mad at her. Anyone who’s good to you is a friend of mine. But she must be scared of me. She had an affair with my husband.”

  “Wait, what?” asked Jennifer.

  “Shhh,” said Susan to Jennifer.

  “She is a little scared of you,” Ready said. “But I want you two to meet. I like to have everything out in the open. You both mean a lot to me. You have to be able to get along.”

  Susan pushed herself up and back in her chair, as if trying to move away from the screen. “It’s not a good time for me to be travelling,” she said. “I have a lot going on.”

  “You can’t get away from work?”

  “It’s not that,” said Susan.

  “You have a new boyfriend?” Ready asked.

  “No. No more men. Not for now, anyway.”

  “Then what? What’s your excuse?”

  Susan sighed and turned away and said, “Oh... I’ve been so bad, Warren. I keep meaning to tell you, but....” She picked at one of her fingernails and wouldn’t look at the screen. “I wanted to let you go.”

  “Whatever you keep meaning to tell me, you can tell me when you get down here. Come on, Susan,” he teased. “I won’t take no for an answer. You have to come.”

  Susan shook her head. “I’m sorry, Warren, but no. It wouldn’t be right.”

  Ready stared at her for several seconds in disappointment. “That really hurts, Susan.”

  “I know,” she said sadly. “It hurts me too. But I need to see you. Maybe some time after the wedding? Do you think you’ll be in California again?”

  “I’ll probably be out there in a few months.”

  “I promise I’ll see you then,” Susan said. “Will you promise to see me?”

&
nbsp; “OK,” said Ready with resignation. “I’ll see you then.”

  After ending the call, Susan looked up at the bright star hovering above the horizon and was silent for a long time. Jennifer watched her the way Will once had, wondering where she went in those quiet moments when so much activity appeared behind the surface of her dark brown eyes.

  Susan thought back to her first meeting with Ready in the coffee shop. How quickly she had judged him! She remembered her surprise at his first kiss, and how she tempted him later when she answered the door wearing only a towel. She remembered the hike in the mountains, the desperate morning in front of the pharmacy, and the drive to the red-roofed house beneath the palms. She remembered his words in the bathroom, the robe she took off for him, and how natural and right, absolutely right, was his touch and their being together.

  “Did you know the evening star and the morning star are the same thing?” Susan asked, still looking up at the sky.

  “No,” said Jennifer.

  “It’s just a question of where it appears. When it rises in the east, it’s the morning star. In the west, it’s the evening star. It’s not even a star, really. It’s Venus.”

  Susan watched the planet for a few more seconds, then turned to her friend and said, “Venus was the goddess of love. There’s a scene in The Aeneid where Aeneas is wandering on the coast of North Africa. The storms have blown him to this foreign shore, and he doesn’t know where he is, or what he’s doing, or where he’s going. He’s just lost.

  “And Venus, his mother, watches him from above, and she takes pity on him. She comes down to Africa, and appears before him in the form of a simple shepherd girl, and she tells him where to go. He doesn’t know who she is. But he’s so lost and so desperate for direction, he follows her advice. And that’s what sets him on his path. He makes his way to Italy, and founds a whole new country.

  “In the ancient stories, the lives of the gods and the people were always intertwined. You don’t see that in stories anymore. But what happened to Aeneas on that shore happens all the time. Someone catches you at the right time in your life. Somehow they say the right thing. Just a few simple words, and they set you back on your path.”